I don’t look shitty, but I feel that way
So this is my first blog post, it’s far from what I THOUGHT it would be, but it’s here and it’s from the heart. As of right now, that’s all that matters. If you’re here, you are probably thinking: where are the hair posts? I thought you said you were into fashion? What about all the make-up and skin care products you tells about on Instagram? Well, I’ll get to that, because I do love all thee above! Just not in this blog post. This one is about how I’m feeling currently. I’m currently laid off, furlough, whatever you wan to call it, ya girl ain’t getting a check for 2 months - not my normal one at least. (Shout-out to stimulus checks and unemployment assistance!)
Let me preface this by saying this is not a “woe is me” blog post - I am thankful for where I am and I am very, very grateful because I know others are going through far worse situations than I am. People are dying, households are going through distress, job loss, essential personnel workers are more than likely on an emotional rollercaoster - times are rough! I am just here to tell you feel - let whatever space you are in, be and continue to work through whatever you are feeling the best way you can.
See, it’s here in my planner!
March 31st was scheduled to be the day that I launch my blog - you know with all the pretty pictures and cool videos that I have in my arsenal. Ironically, March 31st was also my last day before temporary lay-off. So how could I possibly launch or talk about the trivial things I love when I feel so shitty - like, I was not in the best of moods, no matter how you flip it. I don’t look shitty, but I sure do feel that way. So I pondered the thoughts of waiting until this was all over to “launch" - I put that in quotations because anyone that knows me - knows that I have been talking about this for years - I thoroughly LOVE to share and provide helpful content in a creative way.
Even though this blog post is not about hair, fashion, make-up or decor -I truly believe this was the time to start. I asked God to give me a few ideas to relate to others as my first few blog posts and boy did He give me something. If you can relate in any way - I am here to tell you it’s ok and you are not alone, and, reach out if you want, I’m a good listener. While I am no expert - I can tell you a few things I am doing to help me be in a better mood and space. Everyday is different, some days are good and others not so much. And this goes for everyone, we are all in different spaces in life, give each other grace.
A few things that are helping me:
30 Day Yoga: While I am not as consistent as I should be, starting yoga has been a great way to relieve stress and find a little balance in your day. I know, I am late to the yoga party! You guys, I love it. If you’re new to it like me and need a place to start. 30 days with Adriene is a great start. My body has been very tight lately and this has helped tremendously.
Do something that brings you peace: I mean, this is a given, but do we really sit down and figure that out. I was one of those people always on the go saying I didn’t have time for others hobbies or not making the time. So, I did my hair - I love doing my hair and creating something out of so much, so much hair that is. I put in a protective style that took way longer than I thought but in the midst I was at ease and felt peaceful, as I always have playing in my hair. (Don’t worry, I’ll share the details!) The key word here is peace. Look it up.
Talk it out, Type it out, Write it out: Pick one! Y'all , I am not good at this. My husband has actually been a big help. (Thanks Phil!) People would and still do ask me over and over how I feel about my current situation, and I would say the typical fully loaded “fine” when in all actuality I feel shitty, down, like a little cloud is over my head. A hot mess! And that is ok! I’m telling myself this, because as I am writing this post, I feel so much lighter. As I type, I can feel the loads of pressure leaving my shoulders. The point is not to wallow in it, feel it, release it and work on it.
Continue to do any other of your regular tasks or hobbies: In a time where it feels like you should be reinventing your life. (According to social media.) Sometimes it feels better to do things that are familiar to you, within reason or course, because we do have “few” changes to abide by. So, I will be posting about hair, fashion, decor etc - hopefully it will be helpful to someone that is trying to find normalcy in their life.
My final tip is to do what works for you - if none of the above works for you, that’s ok! If starting something you’ve been working on for years helps - do that! If you need this break - get rest! Just do what works for you and allow yourself to feel.
There, I got through this without saying the c-word! I’ll end this by sending love to all the essential personnel, no mater what capacity they might be working in - medical, grocery, hospitality, etc. send them love, and lots of it. You know what, send love to everyone - we all need it.
I wanted my first post to be authentic and me. So yes, I feel a little down and I’m patiently waiting on my unemployment check, all while feeling the urge to be creative in some form or fashion. Here’s to continuing to create, more to come!
With Love,
Charity